Guilt

The following, highlighted section was posted in response to Carly's blog
http://carlysblog-theclog.blogspot.com/

Hi Carly. Yours is an interesting question and i'm sure many women would answer yes. I think an important point you raise is that of "Guilt".Guilt appears behind so many worries and can have such a negative effect, it is certainly a very common feature in eating disorders, along with control. Together these two create a viscious cycle where, because of the rules we have ingested, we feel guilt the minute we percieve we have done something "wrong" and we then try to get back in control to compensate. Unfortunately we are human and can never live up to the expectations of others fully, so will often feel guilty if we try to.I wasted many years overeating to cope with feelings of inadequacy, then through guilt and feelings of failure i ended up feeling even more inadequate, so ate more!! It wasn't until i learnt to express my feelings in other ways and DITCH the GUILT that i was able to eat sensibly.I am glad you conquered your eating disorder and that you are a HEALTHY size 12 now. Try not to feel guilty if you treat yourself now and again, after all you're human. All the best.

Guilt. Guilt i think is born out of conscience or a sense of right and wrong. Freud would propose that it is the superego bearing down upon the ego that produces guilt, for the ego or self craves one action but the societal and parental teachings contained within the superego wishes us to take another action. Guilt is the result of us behaving in a way that we feel we "Should not" or failing to behave in a way that we feel we "Should". Guilt can very often be a negative emotion and can prevent us from living our lives in a happy or productive way, as we are constantly trying to please others and suffering when we can't.

Not that all guilt is bad. I feel without any sense of guilt we would probably have societal breakdown, guilt stops us from doing exactly what we want when we want, it maintains a civilised society. Having said that guilt can also be used to control and manipulate. Others can induce feelings of guilt when we don't fit in with their wishes and that is a form of control, which i don't think is good. I think rather than be plagued by guilt we can express appropriate regret or remorse, as we are human and therefore we all make mistakes. I think two other factors are relevant also; choice and responsibility. We have a choice to help out a friend and shouldn't feel guilty if we choose to say no. We also have our own individual responsibilities, so if something is not our responsibility we don't have to take it on- the other person needs to take on their responsibilities and then choose how they act rather than making you feel guilty for not helping them.

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